Full Moon
by ReadWriteCheer
Summary: Bella's gut-wrenching decision makes her fear the worst: she will NEVER see Edward again. However, one night she sees a figure at her window that makes her wonder whether her fears were correct. But will the person she loves get in her way?
1. Chapter 1

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Bella sat on her purple bed, feeling the guilt wash over her. She should have listened to Alice. She should have cared that Edward was about to give up his own life because of the misunderstanding that she herself had died in the fall over the cliff, but for some strange reason when the moment came for her to make that snap decision to fly to Italy and save Edward, she stayed put. That supposedly romantic, Romeo move of him, didn't seem so romantic outside of the book's pages.

She felt the consequences of her actions take hold of her and the hole in her chest ripped so wide that it felt as though it were now taking up most of her body. She shuttered and let a scream tear up her throat. It was too late for a pillow to muffle the shriek so the neighborhood got a full taste of the fear and angst she felt. Her tears came in bucketfuls and her body felt numb with grief. Her arms started bleeding from her nails digging into her pale flesh as she held onto herself too hard. Her feet began to tingle since the tight fetal position she was in was restricting the blood flow from her ankles. It was all too much. Bella couldn't hold every emotion she was given without tearing herself apart. She wanted to love Edward with all her heart, but he left her. She wanted to hate Edward and give him some of the blood boiling anger he put inside her, but he was always there for her before. Bella wanted to give Jacob her whole being and allow his warmth to radiate into her heart and soothe the cold, merciless ache, but he would never be the Edward she had loved. Everything she thought she knew proved her wrong and every feeling she allowed herself to feel contradicted itself and let her down. She was a mess and she knew it, but she could never have the strength to fix it. She knew that about herself. If there was one word she could use to describe herself, it would be "weak," and she had the cold, hard evidence to prove it.

"Bella," Alice started, "he's going to kill himself." Bella knew that. This was the third time Alice had said it to her and she was sick of hearing it. Couldn't Alice take a hint and just leave her alone for once?

"So let him." Bella couldn't feel the monotone words as they escaped her lips. She had no feeling, no thought that was running through mind. She assumed it to be instinct, but then what was that screaming voice in the back of her head saying to go with Alice and save the love of her life? She couldn't decide. For the first time, it was Bella who walked away.

Bella continued to cry. She let all of those feelings bottled inside her come out in a rush of tears and indistinctive words. She knew now that her conscience, something she never had to worry about before, would be on her. She thought of all the things she should have done to protect Edward. She should have insisted on not having a party for her now insignificant birthday. She should have been the one to answer the phone when he called, worried that she had died. She should have gone with Alice to stop Edward, but it was too late now.

Bella was surprised that she could hear that small, light sound through her gasping and coughing and blubbering, but she did. That distinctive tap, tap, tap on her bedroom window put a stop to her hysterics. _Jake_, she thought. As much as she probably needed him at that moment, she couldn't bear to see him. She couldn't bear to see anybody, really. She looked out the window at the silhouette that was propped on the branch stretching from the tree outside her bedroom window. The full moon sitting in the clouds behind him set a white glow off his face. _That's weird_, she thought. _Jacob is usually as dark as the night when he shows up this late_. But because she could never deny Jacob entry, she approached the window and heard the click as she unlocked it and the familiar groan of metal fighting against metal as she shoved the window upward. The cold air stung her face where the tears were glistening on her sunken cheeks. She looked up at the figure that was merely a few feet away from her.

For the first time, she saw fear in Edward's eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

She didn't move, didn't breathe. She just watched. Bella watched Edward's golden eyes move side to side as they scrutinized her own, brown eyes. She had an impulse to reach her hand out and stroke Edward's cold, stone cheek, but she refrained. She didn't want to be hurt again. She didn't want that hole that seemed not to exist now that he was here to start up again the moment he left, but even with all her might, she did not have the strength to close the window. _Weak, _she thought as she reflected back to the moments when she was grieving over Edward.

The shock of him being here at her window, like so many times before, seemed to vanish. Now she was wondering _how_ he got here. _How_ he managed to escape the Volturri's wrath and anger against him. Once again she was confused.

"Bella." Edward breathed her name out as if she were a fragile, porcelain doll he was afraid of breaking. Bella took a sharp intake of breath at the way he said her name. It was nothing like the way Jacob said it in his strong, deep voice. It was better than that. It was the best- but Bella stopped herself. She couldn't let Edward into her heart again and she knew it, but it couldn't hurt to let him inside, right?

"Edward," she said, nodding her head as if it were a very formal greeting. She hoped her tone came off as guarded and stolid, yet polite, but she wasn't sure she had achieved that. She didn't want to make one wrong move and let him slip out from her fingers. He couldn't leave. Not yet.

She stepped aside so he could duck his way into the room. She shut the window behind him and had a difficult time locking the window back up. That's when she noticed her hands were shaking. "Here, let me help," Edward said quietly. She yanked her hands away from the window as soon as she felt that cold sensation of his fingers touching hers. Blushing, she walked over to the bed and sat.

She could feel the light padding of his feet as they touched the floor when he came to sit next to her. "Bella," he said again. It took all her strength not to melt into him and cry into his chest. "I'm so sorry. For everything I've done. I was stupid, and I should have known that-" He stopped when Bella placed a finger on his steely lips. Realizing what she had done, she quickly pulled her hand away. _Don't get attached to him, Bella_, she told herself.

"I don't want to hear your excuses, Edward." This time she knew her forced curt tone had worked when she saw him wince at her remark. She expected him to say something. She didn't know what he would say, but she wanted him to say something, anything, but he didn't. He just sat there, an impassive look printed on his face. "How did you get here?" she asked him, a little aggravated that she had to break the silence.

He looked at her and smiled for the first time that night showing his perfect, gleaming white teeth. Bella wondered what animal they had recently bitten into. She shuttered at the thought. "I ran here, Bella," he said in a bright tone that could have been taken as light laughter. This irritated her a little bit. She wondered whether he was trying to be witty, or he was ignorant to what she really wanted to know.

She pursed her lips and looked at him hard. "I meant," she bit at each word, "how did you manage to escape the Volturri?"

His smile faded once he realized what she was asking. A flash of confusion flitted across his face. "D-did you want me to see the Volturri?" he stuttered. Bella could feel her face begin to glow red. He thought that she wanted him dead! How impractical that was!

She hurriedly answered him to get back on the right path. "No! I just assumed that you would have because," Bella's voice became quieter, "Alice told me that you were going to show your self so the Volturri would," she swallowed, her throat now dry, "kill you," she finished. I let him put the pieces together.

He stared down at the ground for a long moment, and Bella wondered whether he was mad at her for asking that question, but she knew she had to ask it. The curiosity was eating at her. Edward looked up into Bella's eyes and just like when she first saw him, fear was settled in his golden irises. He paused for just a moment longer then said, "I was wrong, Bella. I thought I could protect you, but I can't even protect myself."


	3. Chapter 3

_But I can't even protect myself._ The words rang in her ear over and over again, and that's when she lost it. Her strong façade that she tried so hard to keep up fell the instant he said those words. He was in danger, and she knew it. All she could do was cry.

She felt Edward's arms wrap around her as he slid her onto his lap. She buried her face in his shirt and let it soak up her salty tears. She shivered as if she was being caged in by an icicle, but it was the best feeling in the world. To be locked in his arms again made her feel so safe and secure that she forgot all about Jacob and his warmth. She felt his lips kiss the top of her head. The sensation still lingered in the moments after that. "Bella," he whispered again, "why are you crying?"

"Because I missed you." She sniffled. "But Edward," she lifted her head so that she could look into his eyes, "I don't want you gone again."

He started stroking her back, and Bella continued crying. Then he went rigid. His hand stopped at her lower back and his rocking became still. He wasn't breathing, though he didn't have to, but it still made her wary of what was going on. She listened. All she heard was the thump of her heart and the silence of Edward's.

A low growl escaped from Edward's chest and Bella could feel the vibration of it against her cheek. Ever so softly, Edward picked Bella up off his lap keeping her in a ball form, and gently set her back down on the bed. Then he stood up and walked over to the window and unlocked it. _No!_ Bella thought. _Don't go! Please!_ Then she said it out loud. "Edward! Don't!" she yelled. He motioned for her to be quiet and not to worry.

She heard the door swing open with fury and bang against the wall.

"I knew I smelled something off, blood sucker," the figure at my bedroom door spat out.


	4. Chapter 4

"Jacob!" Bella screamed. But he didn't listen.

"What right do you have being here?" he asked in a hostile tone. His hands were balled into tight fists and she could see white forming around his knuckles. His nostrils were flaring and she wouldn't have been surprised if steam began blowing from his ears.

_He could hurt Edward,_ Bella thought. She had to do something. "Jacob, please don't get mad," Bella began getting up from the bed. "He was just-"

She was cut off by Edward. "Bella, stay put." His tone was surprisingly calm, but she knew that he was serious.

"What, so you're going to listen to _him_ now?" Jacob said unnecessarily loud. Bella tried to speak, but Jacob continued. "Are you going to get right back where you were, Bella? In the world of vampires? That party you went to over in their… dungeon," Jacob spat, "almost got you killed, Bella! Then when it happens again, Edward is going to leave you. He will walk right out your life and leave you unhappy and alone. Then you will be crawling back to me like I'm your backup plan. Like I'm second best." He stared at her then, but she was stunned into silence. Bella looked at Edward but he was looking down like a child getting caught for writing on the walls. "That's all I will ever be, right Bella?' Jacob was now quiet and she turned her eyes back to him. "The second best." She wanted to say more. She wanted to let him know that she loved him and that nobody could ever replace him, but she couldn't breathe. No voice was coming through and her throat was as arid as Phoenix. Bella earnestly wished she could tell him that he would never be second best. He just took a different place in her heart than Edward did, but none of that was good enough for him.

"Well it looks like if I want to be first, then I will have to get rid of the bastard that's in my way." Jacob started convulsing uncontrollably. His breaths were heavy and a loud growl erupted from his lips.

"No Jake! Don't!" Bella screamed, but it was too late.


End file.
